Navigating contact with your children on Father’s Day

Coping with the emotional stress of separation can make it difficult to navigate contact arrangements for any children involved. Rebecca Patience, senior associate solicitor and Grace McGarvey, legal apprentice from our divorce and family law team offer tips and guidance to help you make arrangements to spend Father’s Day with your children.

Whether you’re a father going through separation or a parent trying to make the day special for your children, Father’s Day can be a challenging day for families who have gone through separation or divorce.

It is important that children are given the opportunity to celebrate these occasions with the important adults in their lives, and we recommend that arrangements be given careful consideration and that they are made well in advance.

Check your parenting plan or court order

 It is common for parenting plans and court orders to provide adjustments to the usual contact arrangements for special occasions such as Father’s Day and Mother’s Day.

 If you have reached an agreement with your ex-partner in relation to the contact arrangements for the children, or if there is a court order in place, the first step is to check the written agreement.

If the agreement is recorded in a court order, as opposed to a parenting plan, your ex-partner is legally required to make the children available to you in accordance with the order. If they fail to act in accordance with the court order, it could carry significant consequences for them should the matter be returned to the court for consideration.

If there is no written agreement confirming the arrangements for special occasions, it will be necessary to communicate with the other parent to resolve matters.

Communication with your ex-partner

 If the current arrangement does not provide for contact to take place on special occasions, we would recommend that you communicate with your ex-partner to try and agree on a variation to the usual arrangements. Respectful and timely communication is key to avoid the escalation of issues.

You could propose to sacrifice one of your usual days with the children to enable them to spend time with you on this special occasion. Contact could be swapped for another day that week or the following weekend. Alternatively, you could offer to reciprocate the flexibility should Mother’s Day fall on a non-contact day.

Our advice would be to have these conversations as far in advance as possible, to provide plenty of time for matters to be resolved.

Communication between co-parents is not always amicable and if you are unable to speak directly, there are alternative methods available.

Using the mediation process

 You could consider engaging in the mediation process, where an independent, professionally trained mediator will help you reach an agreement. For further information regarding the mediation process read our article: Mediation in family law – Is it right for my circumstances?

Support from a solicitor

 If you are unable to resolve matters, you may consider support from a solicitor. In the first instance, they could write to your ex-partner to try and resolve the issue on your behalf.

Alternatively, they could organise a round table meeting where you, your ex-partner and your respective solicitors are present to discuss the arrangements.

Referring the matter to court

 If you cannot reach an agreement, it may be necessary to refer the matter to the court. Taking the best interests of the children into consideration, the court will be asked to decide what the arrangements should look like.

Any final order will likely define the day-to day contact arrangements for the children as well as the arrangements for special occasions such as Father’s Day.

Putting the needs of the children first

Whatever your plans for Father’s Day are, we hope that you can celebrate the role that you play in your children’s lives.

Despite any conflict you may have with your co-parent about the day, it is important that you do not involve the children in any such disagreements and if a solution does not present itself, you should offer your children reassurance that you can still celebrate Father’s Day together at the next available opportunity.

Our divorce and family law team can provide specialist advice on child arrangement matters and can assist you in navigating any issues you may encounter in relation to celebrating special family days. If you wish to speak to a member of our team, please contact Harrison Drury 01772 258321.